One down, at least two to go.

A man stands before a panel of his fellow citizens. The man has been condemned.

He has been convicted of petty charges, poorly brought before the court. His only real offense has been challenging the intelligence and injuring the pride of certain members of the panel, and of his loathsome accusers, who brought the charges out of spite.

The proposed sentence is death. Aged, and wise, the convicted man is certain that this sentence will be rendered. He is permitted to speak, for the purpose of proposing an alternative. With intellectual gusto and customary aplomb, Socrates proposes, without a lick of irony, that he instead be granted residence and free meals in the great hall Praetorium, typically reserved for local heroes.

Thus the end of this great philosopher. Or so Plato has written.

Minneapolis, Minnesota, Cycle One, 2009

Submitting grant proposals feels a bit like facing such panels. Obviously the stakes aren’t remotely the same; my life never hangs in the balance, and nor do I possess the significance or worth of a Plato or Socrates (or my revered Aristotle). And panelists on grant boards or committees aren’t seeking your destruction–in fact,the very opposite: they seek to find good work done well by promising artists, and support them.

Any artist working ought to believe their work is valuable, or they’ve found the wrong vocation. And though every artist suffers doubt, the confidence developed by continued growth within your work is a powerful motivator.

The final phase of City Love Song will be produced, grant funds or no. The first cycle was self-funded by selling all my belongings. The second, through Off Broadway ticket revenue and funds raised publicly through Kickstarter. That’s pretty clear growth. The next, natural stage would be to secure funding from organizations.

The Black Rock Arts Foundation, unfortunately, will not be one of those.

I have applied twice to BRAF: last year (for cycle two, America to the World), and this year (for cycle three, The World to America). On both occasions they have declined to fund City Love Song.

This is unfortunate but not surprising. My art falls at the edge of the type of work they normally fund. They seem to prefer large scale installations, particularly localized to the environment and especially when an interactive component for participants is included.

Both my applications have been predicated on describing how their philosophical goals and mine are matched, though my means for achieving them are different. For this grant, I was a bit like a baseball player trying out for the cricket squad. I hoped that showing heart and demonstrating good effort would help them see around this, but I suspect it wasn’t enough.

I’m disappointed–naturally!–but not the least put off. I am confident that my application (actually a letter of intent, a newly-initiated screening process by which one applies to apply, if you follow) was well-prepared. It just wasn’t the right grant for my project. I am bummed but not wounded.

Burning Man festival, 2010. Photo by Gaby Thijsse

The only complaint I could make about BRAF is that after getting denied funds last year, they added me to their email list. I found this tacky. But I haven’t unsubscribed–they do some interesting stuff, including the world-renowned annual Burning Man festival. And any grant source deserves our respect and encouragement. Anyone who devotes their funds to the production of art with our social well-being at heart deserves our respect and support.

I’ve submitted for a fellowship through the New York Foundation for the Arts, and will apply for the Henry Reed Fund offered through the Library of Congress. Both are better suited to my work, and I am confident I can make a strong showing, if not win support.

In the meantime, I have your support. Thank you for sharing this ongoing journey with me. I am thrilled to tell you that 2012 will be an exciting year for City Love Song, and for me. I do hope you’ll stay with me.

Your brother Jack

PS For anyone curious, here is the letter of rejection.